Siege

My heart is under siege. 

It topples, it towers, it breaks down upon me 

Crushing my legs and closing my throat

Pulling my hair and tearing my clothes 

What do you want from me? 

I scream 

The fields have run fallow, the treasuries have long been empty 

I have nothing to offer you 

From the mountains to the sea 

I can find no salt, no wine, or bread to carry me 

Why must you bang upon the doors so harshly?

Must you kick down my statues, my statutes, my every hall of memory? 

Why must you intrude upon me so? 

I wish to go now, 

Wish to follow a slower coast 

Go down to the river and pray once more 

I will in live in exile upon kinder shores 

Why must you insist that I stay? 

Lay arrow and arrow into my shoulder till you have your way? 

O greedy heart, 

let go of me, 

Find another soul to enslave 

A better dynasty to hear your tirades

I am but a simple man, 

I cannot be a vessel for your imperious plans 

I laid down the sword many years ago, 

My hands hurt from its hilt, 

from the bloodiness of its purpose, 

The burden of its care 

I am now rusted, my lord, this soldier has deserted

I am now far from there 

I beg of you now, o beating beast, it’s best to leave 

I am no conquistador, I am not worthy of your dreams 

Please leave my kingdom and do not come back 

Let me rot in peace and tell your armies to take a different path 

I am no soldier, no king, no learned man 

I tried planting rue, rosemary and rose 

But the weather was too cruel,

the sun! 

How brightly it shone! 

I was made to die, simple as that 

Not slowly, not fast, certainly not by your hand 

You have tired me so with your incessant noise, your childish vigor 

Your persistent voice 

O beating heart, why can you not see? 

I am not worthy of the dreams you demand of me

Call off your siege and take me home 

beat the war drum and blow the horns, 

This is the end of our glorious fight 

This is the end of ambition, the death of might.