Jester

someone has to leave. 

there is no different end to this story. 

this is my legacy to bear.  

your attention is hollow, fleeting, and doomed 

but direct your gaze at me anyways

for I am so gracious, so funny, and true 

with a penchant for impermanence and a need to entertain 

let me reinvent myself everyday for you 

I can sing and I’ll do a dance or two 

I’ll feel sick as the words come out and come out and come out and back again

fluorescent and out of tune 

but never mind, give me time 

I’ll watch the contours of your face and carve my tongue to match your every trait

Hey!

Hey! stay with me 

Don’t look away, the glamor will fade 

I am only an ingenue for as long as you gaze at me and 

I’m not ready to let go of my youth, my naivety

when the show is over, will you stay?

when my voice runs course and my hands are pained, 

will you deprive me of this masquerade? 

my set is done, the jokes have been delivered

the curtains must close on this charade

my eyes search for you in the crowd, but I stare into the spotlight instead 

hope is not helpful for a stooge

by the time the applause is gone, 

I know you have collected your things, 

Tipped a dollar or two,

and been on your way

and I will return to my station:

a perverse demonstration, an outdated sensation 

held constant in time, as I watch

failed punchlines turn into a sign of the times 

You loved these before, I realize

but I think you learned my every limerick and rhyme

I played my hand too soon

my fan-favorite absurdity has become annoying to you. 

An agreeable archetype held hostage by audience appetite

A likable, but not loveable pageant piece 

A feudal comedian with no sign of dignity 

I lick a pitiful, performative purpose off the knives of an absent destiny 

For what is love, if not a performance of acceptability? 

Who am I if not your favorite town travesty?